My Story IV - Still on the Journey: An Introduction to GAPS

  Yes, there have been struggles and triumphs, but it is by no means over yet. I still have much to accomplish for physical healing; and spiritual healing, well, is it not a lifelong work of sanctification which God promises to complete? It is always helpful, though, to know where you are on the journey to have a better idea of what needs to be done and in what direction you are heading. So where am I?
    A picture may be of use. 

    You will remember from this post that I did not look healthy. Well, I think in this picture I look healthier. This is a good thing! Now, there are still problems to solve in my body, like more energy, less intolerances, and a pain-free back. The improvements in these areas abound so I cannot complain. But the road still winds ahead.

There are spiritual trials, too. I still confront control, specifically in the area of time. Head on collision! Yet I know what is right and what is wrong, and earnestly desire the right at any cost. That is half the battle. I could work on my tone when speaking to my dear family. Does it matter they love me unconditionally (as far as a human can)? Should I take advantage of that gift? Of course not. Why is it we are kinder to our waitress than our mother? It does not make sense, and it is certainly not in line with Christ, so making that change is on the top of my to-do list. These are just examples of the hurdles I have yet to leap, the habits I have yet to change. After all, the mountains loom ahead.

But there is hope for my journey, both physically and spiritually.

Let me introduce you to my physical problem-solver: the GAPS programme. GAPS stands for Gut and Psychology Syndrome or Gut and Physiology Syndrome, depending on what your health difficulty is. I fall under the latter category, if you wondered. What on earth does that mean? Simple, really. The name connects the state of your gut (think stomach, intestines, etc.) to the state of your health, so the idea is to heal your gut which in turn heals your body. Not too hard of a concept to grasp, eh?

Now just how does this work? You see, we have these little critters living inside our guts which help digest food, eliminate toxins, protect the gut lining, and a host of other things. We also have these little cells called enterocytes living on our gut linings. Well, when a person has a GAPS dilemma, the little critters get out of control, turning to gang violence and covert operations, while the helpful enterocytes meet a tragic end, and are not replaced. What grief... Anyway, by repopulating our guts with good critters and eating in a way which perks up those sad, starved enterocytes, your gut dysbiosis will return to its state of gut symbiosis, and your body will thank you for it.

But what does this programme look like? GAPS Programme does sound a bit like a brainwashing squad, but it is actually quite wonderful! You take probiotics, cut out grains and starches, and eat all that scrumptious food you were told would give you a heart attack like burgers, butter, cream, gravy, bacon, and brussel sprouts (okay, okay, this girl really likes brussel sprouts). See, by eating these healing foods, you give your gut a break from breaking down complex carbohydrates, while at the same time, you nourish the gut to restore it to full functioning capacity. 

There is a much more scientific explanation coming soon, but I did not want to bog down uninterested people with alien-sounding terms. :) I know, I just used a smiley. 

Spiritually, also, there is most definitely a game plan. It is called Scripture. How can I become a Fair Lady without pursuing the only One who is fair? How can I pursue Someone I do not know? How can I know the Unknowable if not by His own revelation? Yes, my heart's desire is to make His word not just a light unto my feet, but the light unto my feet. It shall be my aim to listen to His voice amidst all the voices Satan uses to drown His. And God is powerful for this. He is mighty to make Himself heard, and hard hearts respond. I have already seen this in my life, and my Father will continue the work He began to completion. 

For everything, then, He deserves praise. No matter what means He uses to shape me, whether it be a food plan, a strong family, or crazy blogging homeschool mamas, all the glory goes to Him and Him alone. My prayer is that this lady will glorify her King. And that is my story...so far!

My Story III - Triumphs Through the Journey

   This has the potential of being an odd post. After all, I am writing about the victories through my journey of food, control, hearkening to God. For me, talking about victories is difficult because, for so long, I attributed victories to myself! I felt like conversing about my wins in life was a cheap shot at begging for praise. That is changing. With each passing day, I learn that any achievements I enjoy are all a gift from my Maker's hand, and so the glory should go to Him. That truth makes these triumphant moments less of a show-off and more of a praise. It is in this attitude I ramble these thoughts.

   Hmmm, that attitude in itself is a victory. I do not think I could have said that, sincerely, a year ago. All my failures were because of me, so, boy, all my victories were due to my perfection. How that notion seems backward and presumptuous now! That is what happens when you embrace grace. I fail, yes, because of my sin, yes. But God in His merciful and glorious and unashamed love takes us and makes us, well, victorious! A Fair Lady, indeed.

   Some positive effects of this change of heart are rather conspicuous. I hate to say it, but the "living dead" does not apply to me anymore. At least not completely. My hair can actually grow without frizzing, and that auburn streak abdicated its throne for my natural brown to reign. (I still do not know how I feel about that one. Auburn and chestnut are so much more romantic than brown....) So, too, the nails grow without breaking because they now receive enough strengthening nourishment - and have a healthy coral hue instead of the chilly lavender I sported before. Eyes are brighter, cheeks can glow (sometimes), lips are strawberry as opposed to blueberry.... I could name many more such improvements. 

   There have been amazing health benefits from a new heart. I can feel heat. See, before, I did not have enough fats and proteins for my nerves to conduct very well - or something like that. Toxins had attacked my body, too. This led to a total loss of certain feelings, like that of a hot stove. I would not realize the stove was burning my hand until someone alerted me. Well, now I can feel burns in a heartbeat. That does not seem to stop them, though... My hands and toes thank me for the energy I give them by keeping me nice and toasty. Last year, they iced over like the Arctic. The muscle cramps disappeared, so Joshua can sleep in peace without being awoken by blood-curdling screams. The incessant joint and bone pain (yes, bone pain) have also retreated in defeat. I sleep the whole night through now, which has exponentially increased my energy and lessened brain fog. This has led to a sense of having more time. By relaxing about time, I suddenly find more. Neat how giving things over to God works, no?

   The last physical improvement I will mention has to do with touch. Before, I could not stand touch. Get away from me, people! My personal bubble is extensive, okay? Not anymore. I shall never be described as clingy, but now I do not have a heart attack when Mumsie gives me a hug. Odd problem, I know. It probably involved the whole control thing. People entered my space and interrupted my plans to give me a hug. It sounds so silly typing it out, but 'tis true, I assure you! The problem of Touch also touched on my food issue. I was not happy with the way my body looked or felt and touch aggravated my awareness of it. I was very high-strung. This all is different now, praise God!

   Perhaps you observed the overlap between some physical and spiritual hurdles? To be sure, there was major overlap. A broken spirit does indeed dry up the bones. How many times did I repeat that to myself? But, my spirit was refreshed by the Ever Living Water, and you could see the difference in my body. 

   What were some of the spiritual triumphs, then? And, please, remember these are triumphs in my Lord, not of me. First of all, I am learning the art of rest (notice the progressive there; I am not done that one yet). It was mentioned above, but it cannot be emphasized enough. Time and relaxation are so intertwined with my Control lust that any victories along this road are, to me, significant. It has to do with trust and grace, two new concepts for me. 

   In whom do I trust, though? Since I had placed my trust in man for so long, relaxing grew impossible! Anxiety flooded my heart before, when it mattered what other people thought about my performance in work, school, and play. Now peace is making a home there, instead (again, note the progressive).  After all, how can I perform to my God, who now has all my trust? He knows me better than I do, and He knows a far worse person in me than I know in myself. That kind of gives Him the advantage in any popularity contest, does it not? Living solely for Him frees me up to be what He wants, not what friends want or even family wants. That means I can act for Him without shame. He took on all my sins and knows them thoroughly.         In fact, He went through more temptations than I will ever face! In His perfection, He knew sin thoroughly. That means there is no guilt with Him anymore. I can go forward with confidence in His salvation, His sanctification, His Love. It makes a difference. That is what being God-centered instead of man-centered is like. And it is beautiful.

   Oddly enough, not living for others strengthened my relationship with them! I guess it makes sense. I cannot blame them if and when they snipe me. They do not feel forced to praise me, even like me, because I receive my worth from Christ, not them. There is less tension now, and that makes a whole lot of things easier. Rather than taking offense at my family's actions, I see them as brothers and a sister in Christ who love me because of God, not because of me. Their words are meant to lift me up to Christ, not tear me down. It was not their attitude or words that changed, however; it was mine. There are still people who are not too happy about my change. It is like I abandoned them, the worldly thoughts we thought together. You know? Those types of people (in reality, all of us at one point or other) like company to justify what they do. It is not pleasant when that company leaves. I know because I was there. 

   But the best triumph has to be Assurance, an assurance that comes from, and contributes to, a love for my Father and His Word. I know I am His! I know He knows me, good and bad! I know He chose me despite myself, so what can snatch me from Him? There are no more nights of wondering how I stand before Him. It is not Jonathan Edwards's dangling spider that resonates with me, but Edwards's unabashed joy. It is a joy to be loved. Much greater, then, to be loved by the perfect Lover. I cannot even pretend to love Him adequately, but His love for me planted in me a love for Him. It makes His Word really lovely. It is not a fevered thirst to squelch my fear of performance like before, but a calm, sweet longing for a well I know will always spill over. You know? Like Narnia's Repicheep knew the water in the East would be sweet. 

     So those are some triumphs. But I am still on the Journey. There is still news to tell. There is a lot about diet. Really. That is what we will see next time.

My Story II - Struggles on the Journey

  In the last post, I left myself undergoing a major paradigm shift. However, a shift is a step, a step is a process, and a process is hard. 

There were many physical obstacles to overcome. You recall I feared fats like the plague. Protein was a "good" thing, but in my thinking, I did not have enough calorie dollars to spend on meat. Running a cost-benefit analysis on my calorie bank account, veggies were the only food which fit my budget. All that had to change, and fast. 

See Jenn sit down. See Jenn place peanut butter in bowl. See Jenn add coocnut oil to said bowl. See Jenn dump yogurt over described concoction. ... See Jenn gag. Calories! How on earth could any Western girl justify eating fats she was not going to use? See how out of it I was? 

Aside from they very powerful gag reaction, my body had also been damaged enough to create some aversions of its own. Food intolerances, with which I have always struggled (another post for another time), grew powerful and multiplied like rabbits. One day yogurt was fine, the next it had me clutching my stomach. Eggs, dairy aside from a certain brand of yogurt, and anything containing them had long left the scene. Then nuts flew the coop. Then grains. Then tomatoes. And on it went! 

What is more, my body had wasted away. I hurt everywhere. Due to a car accident a few years ago, my neck and back were misaligned. Now the pain reached oppressive levels. You see, without enough fats, nutrients, and proteins, your body cannot repair on a normal basis. That is why seemingly simple issues worsened rather than were resolved. Brain fog clouded my cognitive abilities. Leg cramps inhibited walking. And on it went again!

The biggest physical obstacle, though, was what I call the Skinny Hump. I could not get over the fact that I could not and would not be thin like the media said I should be. The mirror about killed me. If I noticed any "extra" weight, the reaction was at best mixed. Yay! I am doing well in becoming a Fair Lady. Sigh. Why must being a Fair Lady imply not being pretty? (Note: My concept of pretty was still pretty skewed. Remember, healing and sanctifying are processes.)

 

All these physical obstacles floated atop a mess of spiritual ones. The most obvious issue was that of control. I liked the driver's seat best, thank you very much. However, I knew God's control far surpassed mine. One blessed, the other destroyed. So every day I died to self. Well, maybe not every day. There were instances when Jenn thought she was God and tried to snatch the reigns from her Maker. It is enough to say those times were miserable. Little by little, it became easier, more natural, to live in His paradigm rather than the sinful one I created. It should make sense, considering His Spirit, through His Word, crafted me a new nature with each passing moment. Is not His grace beautiful? But I digress....

There were social problems through which to sort, too. For a while, I had been receiving compliments on my looks from people whose concepts of pretty were just skewed as mine were. Now those folks saw me in a different light. I was being odd, not living according to their perceptions of normal, and it made them uncomfortable. Mayhaps my change pricked their own consciences, but that enters speculation. Whatever the cause, loose friends and acquaintances turned up their noses at a girl who actually wanted to gain weight. For someone used to making a living out of people-pleasing, that was hard. 

The difficulties did not stop there, however. I. still. craved. control. There were morning where I would freak if I did not find a certain spoon with which to eat breakfast. It was a control thing. (Actually, I think certain family members - ahem - hid my OCD spoon. Good for them.) Thankfully, that is over now. Another control example is timing. I had my routine down to the minute - on all our house clocks. If I missed by a minute, it ruined my day. That, too, has eased, thanks to the diligence and patience of my family and faithfulness of my God. 

These freak out sessions, naturally, put more strain on my relationships with father, mother, brother. Sigh. I was a bother, was I not, Josh? Since my family openly fought my idol of control, it was second nature to fight back. I had done so for years, but I knew I had turned the page to a new chapter of working with them instead of against them. Again, this transition seemed awkward to me, even repugnant. At first. 

Quite a few valleys to cross, no? The underlying problem was my refusal of grace because it conflicted with my perfectionistic control. If I ranted because of that lost spoon, I sunk to a depressed state, firstly because I had lost control over that spoon, and secondly because I had lost control of myself. If one does not understand grace, those failures are unacceptable. My family  gently yet firmly walked me through these thought processes, exposing my wickedness and need for grace. It was painful, and there were nights without sleep when I wrestled with assurance. Was I a Christian? Did I love God more than myself? More importantly, did God love me? Once reality struck - that I behaved like a bonehead whenever I cheapened God's holiness by imposing my rules - He softened me and I relinquished. 

Yes, there is a pattern of me shaking my puny fist against the Almighty and He putting me back in my place. It was a bitter, yet so sweet, surrender.

Next post will be a little more happy, doncha worry!

My Story I - Beginning the Journey

Now comes the personal anecdote. It is all well and good to talk about society safe upon my high horse, but to actually be involved??? Battle...weight issues? Oh, yes, my friend. Here is one Fair Lady who struggled for years with this. Thus, I shall try to make this practical, bring it down to a concrete, real-life story, by sharing what I did. Friends who know me well can guess what I am going to say, yet I may as well give my little tale to the World Wide Web while we are on the subject, then I can drop it. I do this just in case someone else is where I was a few years ago: making a decision, whether they know it or not, to either be a tool of Satan by giving in to their own desires or to glorify God by being, well, not perfect (according to the world's standards). So, this may be a bit long, but in the future I hope to mince my words a little more...mincingly.

So, let's travel back about a year to see where I was in life. That would be October of 2010...I wore baggy clothes, mainly because I wanted to hide my shape and needed the extra cushion those sweaters provided. Otherwise, people would comment about how sickly thin I looked (I, to the contrary, avoided mirrors because I could never see myself as skinny) and it hurt to come in contact with anything hard, like a chair. My hair frizzled and limped from my head. My skin wavered between an ethereal yellow, sallow orange, and pale gray. Eyes hollow, fingers and lips blue from cold, hair bronzing from malnutrition. Let's just say that, physically, I was not the greatest thing out there. 

The Waif Last Year

Not the loveliest picture of me, I know, but it gets the point across! 

How about spiritually? I think I felt the same way as I did physically. Limp. Dank. Cold. Now, that was way, deep down. On the outside, I tried to be - and believe myself to be - vivacious, happy, and useful. I convinced myself everything was alright. Perhaps my body was ill, but I was being a "good girl." At home I clawed in a scarily OCD fashion for control, thus becoming snappish, exacting, and plain old obnoxious. Towards friends, I attempted to appear genial and relaxed. On the one hand, all the relationships within my family were edgy, while, on the other, I tried especially hard to be nice to outsiders. When it came to God, I also tricked myself. In the depths of my being, someplace where I had buried the person into whom God was molding me, I knew I had abandoned my Father. I knew, somewhere along the way, I had seized the reins from Him. However, I duped myself in to experiencing "heartfelt" yearnings for all things Spiritual. My devotions went on for hours and a good portion of my time went to counseling friends. At night, though, I couldn't sleep due to sobbing over my hypocrisy. And that is something I need to drive home to you: the two-facedness of living for man's expectations rather than God's expectations. All I was is a facade, and that is all you will be, too, if you decide to live for the approval of yourself and society rather than for the smiling face of God. And we slip in to it so subtly. That is why we have to be tenacious in keeping ourselves away from worldly thoughts. In the last post we saw how difficult that can be. But back to me, you can sum up my position by stating I was genuinely hoodwinked.

But God had gotten a hold of me long ago, and He was not about to go back on His word. 

I cannot really say what gave me a desire to relinquish control and live for God. I think it was a combination of things. First, I was so sick. Obviously, all the nutrition information I found online was a hoax. I followed the directions to a T, if not more severely. I stumbled across some blogging crazy homeschool mamas who touted fat as good for you, who said the "Diet dictocrats" were wrong, and who applauded a life altogether different from the one I had been living or seen encouraged. And they looked content, at peace, even beautiful! So, there was some portion of my Worldview being chipped away. 

Then, my family drew me to sanity, too. They knew what I was really like. Looking back, I see how they knew me better than myself because they saw me clearly, whereas I saw myself through a fog. Daddy stayed up many a night just talking with me, praying with me. My brother helped me get through the ups and downs of it all - you know, the muscle cramps, the mood swings, the insanity. I finally understood Mumsie's pitying looks and encouragements to eat more. It is as if I woke up one day and decided not to be offended at them. 

But it was not an overnight change at all. The main loadstone for this girl was her Heavenly Father. He used the means of my family and others, but above all, He used Himself. And I think that is what it takes to get over something like anorexia - or anxiety, or depression, or anything else we come up with these days. It takes an encounter with God. Not merely a one-time experience where you feel all warm and cuddly, but a true realization of Who God is and What you have been messing with when you try to put yourself in His shoes. Once that humbling takes place, He can mold you. He can make you His. That is what He did for me.

It was a major turnaround. Do you see how, in my case, eating that spoonful of fat is tantamount to surrendering myself to God? It is a relinquishing of all my values, rules, and desires, to His. Maybe putting it that way will better explain why this issue of food is important to me. Right now, it is the most obvious way I can conform to His will for my life. There are many areas which need conforming, to be sure, but this one is huge. Read on to see just how extensive the consequences of Food were, and are, in my life.

Becoming a Fair Lady in Look

  In the last post, I said we would be discussing externals. I know what you are thinking: skirts and make-up and jewelry. That covers the extent of "practical" teaching on Godly, feminine looks, correct? Obviously I came to a different conclusion or I would not have asked. Sadly, Fair Lady externals have been relegated to wearing skirts to your boot tops, keeping your cheeks as pallid as possible, and avoiding bling like the plague - or doing the complete opposite in a “Christian” way. Disclaimer: I can think of few things better than a long, swishy skirt and wear them often; I rarely use makeup and, when I do, keep it natural; and this Fair Lady never liked glitter. Also, it is okay to wear jeans, make-up can be a good thing, and who does not like a pearl necklace? That said, I have met far too many young women who limit themselves to this box of rules: long skirt, no color, no gold. But this neither exhausts the ways a Fair Lady's body can serve her Lord nor does it say anything about the state of her heart. Why limit ourselves to fashion? More importantly, from what spirit does our fashion flow?

  What I want to make unmistakably clear is that one's principles result in one's practice. You cannot have a fair outside without having a fair inside - and not every fair heart will show the same fair body. There may be different ways to evince ideals we hold dear. Far from promoting a "shades of gray" mentality, this smacks of the Biblical concept of “changed heart equals changed demeanor.” Let us go to Scripture and assure ourselves we are not merely putting on an act but putting on a new spirit. We must seek the Word's reasoning behind all of our actions.

Whew.

Now. If I shan't be touching on clothes, what is this about? Those who know me well can probably guess. It is my waistline.... Yes, that's right.

Are we shrinking or something? It would not be surprising considering all the weight-loss commercials on television and radio, let alone the aisles of low fat everything in the grocery stores. Need I mention low-moisture, part skim mozzarella? 

This might not be the question in vogue but I think it is one worth asking the girls of today, especially those well-beloved daughters of the Reformed church. You know the ones. They have been called the "daughters of Zion," "her father's arrows," and the "Church's secret weapon." Satan spotted a potentially dangerous group of young warrior women and struck a chord near and dear to their hearts: their bodies. He really is a clever one, the Devil. He has used many tactics throughout history to attack this Secret Weapon. Discontentment, physical brutality, the “ornamental” syndrome...the list goes on. But have you ever thought of the complexity of his latest approach? He is attacking our bodies. A day in the life will illustrate my point. 

A girl’s radio alarm wakes her up with the empowering ad for a dinner-replacing smoothie. Perfect to lose those three inches you never wanted. After a quick perusal of her emails - replete with helpful tips to distract yourself from the afternoon snack craving - and a bowl of healthy high fiber, low calorie flakes with nonfat milk, she heads out to run a few errands. At the doctor’s office, she runs through the latest Cooking Light publication and studies the BMI chart hung on the wall. A drive to the grocery store lands her amongst myriad dieting concoctions topped off with the check-out line modeling magazines. Sure, as a Christian she would never thumb through their pages, but the front cover says enough about what the “latest hot body” ought to look like. Exhausted, she goes home, flips on the tube, and is inundated with images and words and products screaming THIN! 

This is a hypothetical *cough* situation, but you get the idea. Satan has her in his grip if she gives in to this stuff. First, there is the basic ME issue. I do not know if you noticed, but that day was pretty self-centered. Caring so much about what you look like takes time! All of it. You no longer see your body as the temple of God, but the temple of You. Then there is the relational aspect of the problem. Look at Susie. She is so pretty and trim! How does she do it? I am sure I work out way more than she does. A bit of jealousy, perhaps? I am going to dwell on a third problem, however, namely, the problem of purpose.

The problem of purpose concerns for whom we live and serve, what drives us in our innermost being. A true Daughter of Zion wants nothing more than to serve her Lord. This is her driving force. She seeks out His desire for her life in His word. What is the purpose of women? To glorify God and enjoy Him forever via a role which, let’s embrace it, is focused on the home. Marriage. Children. Family. Now let us wander through Satan’s preference for a women’s life. To steal the glory from God, diverting us from His plan by making a bony, wispy body appealing in our eyes. Hours at the gym. Fake diet food. Size 00 skinny jeans. Me. Whoa, look at that! Satan’s hopes and God’s plans are at war with each other! We cannot serve both. Did you know fat is good for women? Satan’s current best-kept secret. But the science can be saved for another post; for now, let us return to God’s purpose for women as He outlines it: 

“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed....For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ...” (Titus 2: 3-5, 11- 13).

Not seeing the connection, I know. It will all clear up in a moment. First, see how it is assumed there are children involved in a woman’s life? Well, that requires fat. Second, we find a call to holiness, a set-apartness from the world to become like Christ. Now, you could be set apart from the world by behaving maniacally in public. That is not what I am talking about; rather, a deep seated desire to behave as Christ would flowing from the work of the Holy Spirit. This behaviour, more times than not, is contrary to the world’s latest fad. Right now, the world’s latest fad is skin and bones. Third and last, Paul encourages us to look toward and live in light of “that blessed hope” of the appearance of the glory of Christ, the end - and beginning - of Christ’s sacred romance with His bride (in drier terms, covenantal story). Does being supermodel thin fit with this paradigm. I should say not, considering all the energy invested on ME rather than on Kingdom work, the worries about MY appearance rather than what Christ’s Bride is doing, the time required to live up to MY rules for SELF-esteem rather than time spent on His desires for the Church’s glorifying of Him. 

I hope you are seeing the connection. This is something I have been thinking about lately because of personal experience and people-watching (come on, we all do it, right?). I am not out to bash skinny people. After all, some people are just made slender (and I think that is great!). I am not condoning obesity as it is the opposite side of the same coin. What I am bashing is a mentality focused on self, displayed through obsession about weight. I see a pattern of being obsessed with Thin in our times. Like a lot of good things, these thoughts are counter-cultural and uncomfortable, but somebody needs to say something and why not from an insider on a blog nobody reads? 

There is more to say on this subject, but I do not know yet how to proceed. So who knows what next post will be like? Please leave thoughts about this post. Too awkward? Not relevant? Good? Too long!!!

The Name's the Thing

    Welcome to the first post of my blog, Becoming A Fair Lady! What first attracts me to a blog, book, or anything else is the title. If an article's title is too mawkish and romantic, I quickly turn the page. For some people, the deciding factor is whether it sounds boring or adventuresome. Whatever the title might be, there is always a reason behind the name. 'Gospel' means good news and was used in the Roman Empire to signify all the acts and proclamations of the person in question. Quite fittingly, then, the word 'gospel' was chosen as the name for the good news of what Christ has done for us. I go through all this to show that headlines have meaning. So does the name of my blog.

    As Mother and I were setting up this web-page, Mr. Blogspot said, "Please fill in the blanks: Name of blog is_______". Hmmm, had not thought of that yet...We sat for a few moments, coming up with 'Jennifer this', 'Jenny that', and maybe 'Jenn's something or other'. In short, nothing particularly successful. Then I remembered my name meant Gentle Spirit or Fair Lady. Perhaps we were getting somewhere! I then looked up 'Fair' and 'Lady' in Webster's 1828 Dictionary. These are a sampling of the results.

Fair:

2. Beautiful; handsome; properly, having a handsome face.

3. Pleasing to the eye; handsome or beautiful in general.

4. Clear; pure; free from feculence or extraneous matter; as fair water.

6. Favorable; prosperous; blowing in a direction towards the place of destination; as a fair wind at sea.

9. Open; frank; honest; hence, equal; just; equitable.

10. Not effected by insidious or unlawful methods; not foul.

12. Honest; honorable; mild; opposed to insidious and compulsory; as, to accomplish a thing by fair means.

13. Frank; civil; pleasing; not harsh.

17. Free from stain or blemish; unspotted; untarnished; as a fair character or fame.

Lady:
    1. A woman of distinction. Originally, the title of lady was given to the daughters of earls and others in high rank, but by custom, the title belongs to any woman of genteel education. 

    Well, that was a lot to take in! Talk about living up to a name. As with all other things, I looked at this with the eyes of a Christian. What is handsome, proper, and pleasing in the eye of God? What is beautiful to God? Matthew 17:5 says, "While he was still speaking, a bright cloud enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!" So, Christ pleases God. I suppose I ought to look more like Him, then. Continuing along in the list of definitions, I find I must be pure, free from dirt and blemishes. This reminded me of sanctification, how Christ washes out every spot and wrinkle from His bride through His blood and the truth of His Word. Fair also signifies prosperity. While I do not have a golden touch and never will, it is my desire that, by following God's commandments for my life, I will help prosper those around me. Our last group under 'Fair' denotes a certain honesty and transparency. Oh, that I might not have anything to hide; that when God looks at me and sees everything about me, there would not be anything shameful!

   'Lady', too, has special meaning. A woman of distinction. What about a daughter of God? Thanks to God, I have been adopted into His family. It follows that I hold my head high and remember I have a dignity not my own, but bestowed upon me by the Creator of the universe.

    I believe all these qualities and strivings are not applicable simply to the 'Jennifers' in the world, but to all who are my sisters under the same Heavenly Father. And that is what my blog is about! Becoming A Fair Lady. Not all my posts will be about Bible verses or goals in life. I will probably post about cooking experiments (or fiascos), sewing projects, the latest book on my book list, and all the ways by which life flies by. Nevertheless, I always want to keep in mind my reason for living and can "press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 3:14).

Until next time!